Sneakin' Around With You.....

Hello again.

  

So, as I previously stated, my significant other and I are living separate.  However, we are trying very hard to make our relationship successful still.  We do not have much time together to just be alone, so, we have started taking nights out together at various hotels.  It is nice to have time together, but, it feels sort of like we are having an affair with each other.  I suppose that adds a little spice to the encounters, but, it feels a little cheap, but not necessarily in a bad way.  

Now, having said that, I am not ungrateful for the time and even with the little bit of trashy, it's very nice.  We never really took the time to "date" at the beginning of our relationship.  I was not really a person to date people anyway.  I was either just having sex with someone, or, in a relationship with someone.  There was never much of a dating scene for me.  This was my personal preference.  When I was young and in high school, school was my priority, so I dated no one.  I had zero boyfriends in my three years of high school.  Now, don't get it twisted....I am a chubby and have always been, but, the boys were a-knockin'....I just didn't give a shit.  I was worried about getting good grades, art, and graduation.  So, after high school, I started being active with my sexuality.  But, that's all it ever really was for me.  It was either sex or a relationship.  I have never really "dated" anyone.  So, it's very romantic to have this man( who has already been here for 7 years, that has already seen my worst, and been there to witness the birth of our son.)woo me.  It is nice to get picked up and taken out.  It is wonderful to have those little texts that just say "I love you" or "You're so beautiful."  

Before this separation, I think we were on the brink of breaking up.  At least, from my side of it we were.  However, with the time apart, he has made a place for me in his life.  I feel important, and loved, and wanted, and beautiful.  Those things were really getting lost before this separation.  I have grown to realize in these months that this man, with all of his faults, is someone that accepts all of my faults and still wants me to be a part of his life.  That still wants me to be his wife.  That still loves me, even when I am pissed off at him.  I have figured out that we are not perfect, but, we are perfect for each other because we are each other's balancing characteristics.  He is kind of a jester, and, I am the stiff.  He is the lax where I am the rigid.  He is the slob where I am the neat freak.  So, with the separation, I have found that I miss his companionship. I miss him.  I figured out that this person is my person.  Now, go find yours.  My Bubba has said that it isn't the goal to be blissfully happy all the time, but, to be mostly happy most of the time.  I think that is the best relationship advice I have ever received because as young women, we are inundated with "happily ever after."  I, as an adult, have come to realize that "happily ever after" really is a fairy tale, and, the real romance we should be looking for is "mostly happily ever after."  

The end.  =]