Judgey McJudgerson

Hello Interwebs,
Have a little break from the real world for a bit, so, I thought I'd drop by and speak my piece on judging.  We all do it.  At one point or another, we have seen something or heard something that made us say to ourselves that "they're doing it wrong."  Or, "they're doing it right."  As a parent, I find myself having little moments of "Man, I'm not such a bad mom after all."  But even that is judgement.  It takes all kinds of kinds to make this world go round, so, why judge?

I, for one, think it is in our nature to see something different and assess its difference for ourselves.  What we do with that information is what is important.  Do you see something that is different and say, "That's not the right way, but, maybe they're just having a tough time."  Or do you say "That's not the right way, and they're a jerk for doing that."  I am personally very adamant in my beliefs, so it is harder for me to just accept that everyone doesn't think like me.  However, I know that my way of thinking is different, so, knowing that there are other points of view is in my nature.  I may not always accept other's beliefs or ways of doing things, but, I respect their right to do and say as they like.  I may not always live my life without judging other people, but, I try my best to have an internal dialogue about my thoughts before I form an opinion on things.  I can see a mother out, losing her shit, and say to myself "She needs to calm down," but, I can also say "Maybe she's been having a day like I had a couple days ago."  To assume that every person everywhere is judging you is a little narcissistic, but, that doesn't mean that it isn't happening. Because let's face, as you're reading this blog post, you've probably passed judgement on 37 other things.  For instance, Phil Robertson's words, or Beyonce's hair, or Miley Cyrus's tongue....

Everyone is fighting their own battles every day.  Some days are better than others.  That does not, however, mean that you seeing one person at a bad moment means that they are a bad person.  Sometimes it is really just a bad moment in a particularly bad day.  Sometimes they really are bad people, but, that is, generally speaking, not information that you would be privy to.  So the next time you see a frazzled mother snapping at her kids, feel free to point your finger of judgement, but, take the time to discount your own frivolous opinion because you don't know what that person is like when they're at home.  Maybe she was just having a particularly bad moment in a garbage kind of day.  We all have bad moments.  We all have bad days.  There is no person who has their poop completely in a group.  So, point your finger and make your judgment.  I can take it.  Just know that, at some point, there will be a finger pointed at you.  Know that the person you are judging could have had some massively stressful, migraine inducing moment that day.  Feel free to judge and form opinions, but, be responsible enough to not put yourself on a pedestal for too long.  Someday, that frazzled mom(or dad)could be you.  Judge responsibly.

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Misplaced Anger

So, as I'm trolling my news feed on Facebook...I come across this story about a woman that is sneaking around with a married man......

Now, I don't condone it, but, my beef is that the women responding to the story are shaming the woman for having the affair.

My question is this....Why are we, as women, so quick to decide that it's all the "other woman's" fault?  Why are we so quick to assume that the other woman is some magical temptress with super powers of desire and that our cheating husbands or boyfriends are blameless in the situation.  I know that in situations like this you want someone to blame, but, shouldn't the blame first go to the person that decided to cheat? I am not saying that the woman is totally without blame.  Especially in the circumstance that this woman was in.  She knew he was married and allowed the interaction anyway, so, she has blame in the situation too.  However, there was even a woman posting on this thread saying that she would physically assault this woman if she were the wife.  Why fight for a relationship and a man that you obviously had no value or importance to?  Why is it always the "other woman's" fault or the "other man's" fault?  The blame for being a "homewrecker" should go on the shoulders of the person that initially wrecked the home.  The person that actually wrecked the home is the person that chose to cheat.  Stop misplacing your anger.  If you're angry with someone, direct the anger at them.  If you hold no value to someone, move along.  If he or she is cheating on you, you hold no value to them.  Value yourself more.  Move on.    That's all for now.